SATIRE

A Petition to Support Hamas in Destroying Western Civilization, While Cleansing Palestine and Liberating the Palestinian People: Sign Now

Surely good-hearted people who favor the cause of the oppressed over the oppressor must rise to defend Hamas—the Islamic Resistance Movement—which has earned the world’s admiration by its courageous massacre—and by its determination to exterminate the scourge of Jewish democracy and all Jewish people from the Middle East. We urge all who support global jihad and Hamas’s iron Islamist rule over Gaza to sign the petition below.

As the Hamas charter clearly specifies, the land of Palestine is a Muslim endowment—and with the help of Allah and the American people we Palestinians will finally take possession of this land, which we have never yet in history controlled. Surely our Islamist aspiration of ownership today outweighs the Jews’ 3000-year infestation and their diabolical formation of a democratic state in our sacred Palestine.

Good people must surely help Palestinians rid our entire land—from the River to the Sea—of all Jewish people, with their abominable notions of civil liberties, tolerance and pluralism. Surely well-meaning people must see and approve our need—as our Hamas charter also commands—to kill these God-forsaken colonial invaders by any means necessary. O, you lover of freedom: Do not let a single one live! Allahu Akbar!

Hamas needs your help to eliminate the world’s Jews, to finish what the exalted hero Hitler started—with no consideration for method of extermination, be it cruel, be it bestial, be it savage. Indeed, no fate is too harsh for such unclean indigenous foreigners who have audaciously polluted this Muslim heritage land for so many millennia—even before our people arrived here to free it. Liberation of the Gazan people, liberation of Palestine now!

Please sign below to affirm your commitment to ending religious choice and social diversity in this holy land. Palestine needs only Islam, and only the strict enforcement of sacred Sharia law. Thank you for supporting Hamas, as protectors of Islamism, for we know well how to treat womenkind, how to punish those who defile proper sexual relations and those who wish to mix with infidels. Hamas knows the dangers of rebels who insist on speaking out against the truth of Allah . . . and we know how to silence them eternally. Long live Sharia! Long live Jihad!

As we have seen around the world: Democracy is a disease of oppressors. No true believer in social justice for Palestine can accept the squalid concept of equality under law or majority rule, in which so-called civil rights run roughshod over the benevolence of the global Caliphate—of Muslim domination over its conquered people worldwide. Our battle begins here, today: Free Palestine!

Finally, thank you for endorsing Hamas’s holy embrace of death over life. Our enemies—the Jews (and the Christians and all non-believers)—foolishly, weakly, love life over death. They fail to understand that death for us is sacred martyrdom—our fastest path to heaven and all the rewards Allah has promised. Do not weep for our dead warriors or their parents or children or those we place in harm’s way. They journey to paradise. Long live Hamas! Long live the Caliphate! Decontaminate Palestine now! Please sign our petition.

This petition is sponsored by the Hamas Committee to Advance Palestine Cleansing. Please note that the names of all signers of this petition will be sent to the Biden White House, posted on major social media platforms, and delivered to America’s top 50 employment staffing agencies, such as Kelly, Manpower, Robert Half, Adecco, ZipRecruiter and Indeed, to ensure that the courage and high moral stature of signers is promoted to and celebrated by hiring managers.

PETITION TO SUPPORT HAMAS
AND PALESTINIAN LIBERATION

In order to advance the Islamist liberation of the Palestinian people from the democratic oppression of Israel, I hereby fully endorse the following policies, practices and values of their beloved Hamas rulers:

► Indefinite extension of public voting ban in Hamas-controlled territories

► Maintenance of an economy that provides one of the lowest standards of living and highest rates of unemployment in the Middle East

► Subjugation of women to the will of their husbands or family patriarchs

► Death to all homosexuals, including hanging and ejection from rooftops

► Repurposing of aid meant to improve the lives of ordinary Gazans to instead manufacture rockets, tunnels and other terrorist infrastructure.

► Payment of exorbitant taxes to Hamas, empowering their leaders to live in luxurious dwellings in foreign capitals

► Absolute restrictions on speech—violations punishable by imprisonment and torture

►Prohibition of public criticism of Hamas in press or social media, punishable by death

► Absolute enforcement of Sharia law by “morals police”

► Use of Gaza citizens as human shields to protect Hamas rulers—failure to comply punishable by street execution

► Unlimited employment of rape, bombing, beheading and cold-blooded mass murder of enemy civilians

► Destruction of Israel and extermination of the Jewish people

► Execution of all who refuse to submit to strict dictates of Sharia law

► Defamation of the United States of America in all international forums

► Support holy war to rid the world of all non-believers in Islamism and global Jihad

► Indoctrination from birth of children to hate and murder Jews and other non-Muslims.

► Rejection of any peace arrangement that would allow two states—Israel and Palestine—to live side-by-side in peace and security.

 

Being of sound mind and moral turpitude, I hereby endorse the foregoing values and policies:

SIGNED _______________________________________________

DATE ___________________ EMAIL ____________________________________

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Please make the point when speaking with family, friends, colleagues—or in letters to the editor—that support of Hamas’s sworn goals, policies and bloody practices is anathema to all democratic and humanitarian values. Anyone who defends Hamas’s bestial treatment of fellow human beings on October 7 contradicts the most sacred values of Western civilization, including the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We urge you to get, stand up—and don’t forget that our fight for Jews and Israel is also the fight for humankind.

Best regards,

James Sinkinson, President
Facts and Logic About the Middle East (FLAME)

P.S.      The events of October 7 have changed our world forever—and especially the world for Israel and the Jewish people. Likewise, the words “Never Again” will never be the same for us. October 7 has shown us that despite all promises of equity and commitments against hate on campus and on our streets, we can never depend on it. We will likely never be free of the scourge of antisemitism, fueled by the most outrageous slanders. I hope you’ll agree that we opponents of Hamas and its savage massacre—and of all who support Hamas, against all humanitarian values—need to speak out. FLAME’s new hasbarah—explanatory message—“Hatred of Jews Erupts in Full Fury”—enumerates five of the most vicious lies against Israel and the Jewish people. I hope you’ll review this convincing, fact-based editorial, which FLAME intends to publish in the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, Houston Chronicle, Star Tribune and Los Angeles Times. This piece will also be sent to all members of Congress, Vice President Harris and President Biden. If you agree that this kind of public relations effort on Israel’s behalf is critical, I urge you to support us with a donation.

As of today, more than 15,000 Israel supporters receive the FLAME Hotline at no charge every week. If you’re not yet a subscriber, won’t you join us in receiving these timely updates, so you can more effectively tell the truth about Israel? Just go to free subscription.